Journey, man!

What do people think of anyways? What goes on in their mind? How do they see themselves in their mind's eye? I mean, do we know how different we are from the way we imagine we are? I travel to work by bus every morning. What started out as an occasional observation has now become a habit. I'm quite amused at the reactions of every person who gets in at each stop. And were I telepathic, this is what I imagine I'd hear:

Passenger 1:

Enter bus, say "Ouch". Look embarrassed. "Omigosh. Did anyone see that?" Then, for an encore, "Ouch". "Did anyone see that?"

Furtively look around for favourite seat. "Ah, found it!" Flash a wan smile - at nobody in particular. Slip into empty seat on the first row, near entrance. Settle down.

Passenger 2:

Enter bus. Brow furrowed. Make moue. Stare at rear of bus. "Where do I sit? I can't see....that one's empty...that one too. And another. One more? Omigosh!" Make moue again, emit sibilant "whooo-ooo...". "I can't sit there....that seat's empty..that one too. Oh no, not another one."

Move past empty front seats, continue to stare at rear of bus. Settle for first empty seat in the rear. Any empty seat. "Where were you? I've been looking for you all my life!!!"

Passenger 3:

Dragon lady. Flounce in. Stare forbiddingly at first seat. Repeat for second, third and fourth. Gnash teeth at male occupants. Block aisle for people in line. Hang on to hand-grip for dear life as bus starts. Shoot darts of fire at driver. Stare at first seated male occupant. "Look at me. Don't you DARE look at me." Repeat for second, third and fourth. "Get up from your seat, you insect. Don't you DARE stand up, you male chauvinistic pig."

Sidle to all-women seat. Raise imperious finger. "Move. Push." Stomp into innermost corner. Wiggle large derreire, sit down. Stare straight ahead with supercilious look. "Why am I thinking of insects?"

Married couple 1:

Enter husband. Look at first seat. "Damn, occupied." Look at second seat. "Damn, occupied." Look at next seat. "Damn, place only for two." Next seat, place for three. "Damn, damn, damn." Make lugubrious face.

Enter wife. Look around. Shy smile. Shy smile. Shy smile. Look back at husband's back.

Back to husband. "Seat for two. Seat for three. Empty. Damn. Don't they make seats that don't seat two or three people?" Lumber to empty seat for two. Continue pulling lugubrious face. Flop into seat. Remember about wife. Wife smiles. Hop, hop, hop to seat - bus moving, hold balance, hold balance! - squeeze past husband. Sit down, gingerly. Shy smile, lugubrious look.

Married couple 2:

Enter wife. Wide smile, pearly whites in evidence. Front seat full. "I command you to get up!" Shit. Doesn't work. Glare at occupants. Second seat, one place. "I command you to get up!" Doesn't work here either. Glare at occupants. Turn back.

Enter husband. Smile at husband. Glare at occupant of third seat. Two empty seats. "By the powers of telekinesis, I will you to move!" Tough luck. Smile at husband again. Slump into empty seat. Turn to husband. "Er, I'm not exactly King Canute, am I? But I do look better.....don't I?"

Who said travelling to work is boring?